Some reflections

It has been two and half years since I started the CMA program. Now we have 5 month left to write the board report and we're done. This weekend is the last session at the Delta. Honestly only the first year and half or so felt that we were part of an actual program. The last year or so felt somewhat anticlimactic in the sense that we have pretty much learned most of what we were going to get out the program.

Still back in Sept of '05 I entered somewhat of a social cocoon. The women I was seeing all somehow disappeared upon news of the amount of time I would need to allocate to the program. So much for trying to better myself in their eyes - perhaps its for the best since if they could not appreciate someone who tried to elevate themselves perhaps I am better off moving onward.

Still I kept some of the strongest friendships and perhaps they are the ones worth having in the long term. None of these friends really cared (in a good way) about what I was doing. It was some course or program and back we went to the tasks at hand.

In some ways it really it does not feel I have done much at all. I passed exams which are considered to be some of the toughest in the country. You need all sorts of qualifications to write them and only then only about 1/2 pass and go on. Still the extent of the accomplishment gets lost of me. I have to remind myself, take myself back to the day when I found out I passed and everything would change from that moment onward. And it did................

"Knocking on Heaven's Door" - how fitting that I now have the GNR version of the song playing right now in the background. In many ways I feel that I have been doing just that since 2003. I finally feel to a large extent I have dealt with what happened. I don't talk about them much these days. Being in the program has helped me to deal with the nightmares of that time.

2008

Brand new year. How time flies.

Christmas came and went quickly. We are working on year-end at the office. I have worked 15 days straight.

I am now back to training alone - feels more focused. I am thinking about entering a show next summer.

CMA ends in June. Board report and its done. 3 years gone by quickly.

Looking for some rest....................

New beginnings

It has been a long time since the last post.

My shoulder pains have subsided. I am back to 225 for behind the neck presses. Both shoulders feel loose. I can now actually get up out of bed without any pain when I push myself off to sit up. Yesterday I squeezed out 315 in the bench for 10 easy reps and another 3 reps with 365 which also went up easily. It has been over 9 months since I tried anything meaningful over 335 in the bench.

I am leaving my current employer for a new opportunity. I learned a lot but times has come to move onward. I am a bit surprised at the reaction by my coworkers - some thought I was joking while one was quite upset. I wish them all well as it has been interesting to work there. Raj, Jean and a few others have placed in context through their conduct toward me over the past few days that perhaps my presence actually meant something. I'll remember working there with fondness and likely will keep in touch.

Currently I am still reading "War Made New" by Max Boot. It seems its taking too long to complete the work, but coupled with my CMA research report, case work and other work I really have not had the time to just burn through the book in a few weekend afternoons. Next on my reading list is "The Greatest Battle" - an account of the WW2 battle for Moscow, which signalled the turning point of the war.

I'll try to make an greater effort at posting at least once per week to account for the events of the week.

July 15th

It has been over 3 weeks. I have not been in the mood.
Yesterday was Kaye's birthday. It has been over 5 years. HBLS.

Summer feels like its going by very slowly. I am looking forward to Sept when we start up the SLP again.
Spending time with friends, at the gym and going to the movies. Both Die Hard and Transformers are worth seeing.

June 24th

I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately. Time off from school has given me more time to think about where I am and where I would like to be and what steps I need to take in order to get there. Being creatures of accomplishment provides us with a drive to a greater level of self actualization. Indeed sometimes the more you know often you may not necessarily be better off. Often greater levels of awareness and knowledge lead one to a greater level of dissatisfaction knowing that certain things should be a certain way. The only thing one can do is take action steps within one's means to lead in the general desired direction. Still the open sea has its own challenges, given the safety of the shore.

This weekend - gym, uncles 50's birthday party, and follow up on Sunday.

June 13

Finally finished "Partners In Command, Marshal and Eisenhower". Next on the list is "Partners In Power: Kissinger and Nixon". There appears to be a trend to write about partnerships, perhaps they are inherently more interesting and provide greater context.

Sessions at the gym have been focused and intense. Its harder to train in the heat but we try to keep a quick pace. Backing off Smith Machine behind the back shrugs has eased off the back pain. Couple with calf training has reestablished the stability in the legs, which is esp. helpful
in the squat. 315lbs for 10 reps butt to the floor is now again no problem. If I can go back to 405 for 6-8 reps, it would be as far as I would need to go.

Proctored for Dorothy Timmermans this past weekend for her prep program for the CMA Entrance Exams. Afterward gave the students a short breakdown of how I studied last year and what I did to pass. Afterward one woman began crying saying she was going into her third attempt (and final) and felt she was not fast enough as a reader to pass. While its simple enough to provide students with study tips its quite another to try and appease someone emotionally.

June 3rd

My Internet was down all weekend. Sympatico should really improves it operational effectiveness esp in the area of call centre technical support.

I am about 60% through Partners in Command. Next Chapter is on Overlord. Narrow focus and speed. Interestingly the SLP teaches the same.

Queen's MBA? Perhaps when I finish my CMA. Someone I met recently has strongly made the suggestion. Something to consider.

Sister and baby doing well. Brother-in-law was over.

Bought Forza 2 and Elder Scrolls 4: Oblivion. Both will take time to finish. Next games will likely be Two Worlds followed by GTA 4, Assassins Creed and perhaps Dark Sector in the fall.